26 ways to waste my time

[myron]

You know who you are! Stop it or seven more of your kids will be born with two heads.


1. What's on your bedside table?
empty package of D' size batterie's?

2. What's the geekiest part of your music collection?
Yani?

3. What do you eat when you raid the fridge at night?
the top of the wedding cake

4. What is your secret guaranteed weeping film?
That one with Arnold Schwarrtzeneger, you know and Richard Dawson.

5. If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?
My wife's boobs.

6. Do you have a completely irrational fear?
That I will have multipile flats and only one C02 thing, oh wait..

7. What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moments?
I start tapping the brakes and dabbing my foot.

8. Do you ever have to shave?

Only on the part's I want to be more hairy


9. Do you have too many love interests?
Besides the beautiful Miss Kathy?

10. Do you know anyone famous?
I know a Canadian spoke's model

11. Describe your bed.
where I sleep

12. Spontaneous or plain?
50,000 battered women and I'm still eating mine plain? I had no idea there were even options.

13. Who should play you in a movie about your life?
Chuck Hester

14. Do you know how to play poker?
Tell me again, do 3 red cards beat a bunch or clubs?

15. What do you carry with you at all times?
a schraeder tube

16. How do you drive?
lights on, baby smiling in back seat, at a better pace..

17. What do you miss most about being little?
weighing less

18. What color is your bedroom?
snow bunny

19. What was the last song you were listening to?
room without a winder'

21. Have you ever been in a school play?
I was forced to watch a production of cats once

22. Have you ever been in love?
with a person?

23. Do you like yourself and believe in yourself?
for the most part,except when I queastion... "Should I just make it a fixie"

25. Do you think you're stupid?
did I waste my ty time responding to this?

26. Do you consider yourself to be a nice person?
yes, email chain letters are why the post office is going broke. I remember back when stamps were required for this kind of BS.

[farva]

1. Dont have one gotta walk across room to alarm clock
2. Some 25 yr old X-mas album I listen to every holiday
3. Wedding cake gone now i have nothing
4. Jackass 1 & 2 man there funny
5. my calves i want big calves not bones
6. Driving to local trail -----Crap wheres my bike
7. Silence
8. to much hair to think bout
9. Somewoman any woman look at me dammit
10. I knew a canadian stripper yeah bad news
11. a bed
12. aah sure
13. me my life sucks why should the movie be any better
14. yes but i still lose
15 benedryl F---ing bees
16. with the wife bitching the whole way (is this a roller coaster)
17. im still little freakin genes
18. snow bunny??????
19. something by Saliva gets me pumped
20. where the hell did question 20 go
21. Jazz band "trumpet" I was decent
22. should probably say my wife
23. sure i guess maybe i dont know
24. where is 24 hanging with 20
25. YUP
26. to nice sometimes
25.

[hairygrump]

You guys are so lucky that I'm trying to finish a bottle of gin tonight...

1. What's on your bedside table?
phone, lamp, kids' Surly "li'l nipper" flask I won at a bike thing.

2. What's the geekiest part of your music collection?
That album Marc Ribot did on the Jewish punk label, Tzadik. It's AMAZING.

3. What do you eat when you raid the fridge at night?
olives

4. What is your secret guaranteed weeping film?
Monsters, Inc. Not even kidding. That kills me when Sully scares Boo so bad.

5. If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?
Horns. Very. Subtle. Horns.

6. Do you have a completely irrational fear?
I AM NOT A FRAUD.

7. What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moments?
Failing to voice an opinion.

8. Do you ever have to shave?
I shaved 12 years ago. Never since.

9. Do you have too many love interests?
One is definitely too many sometimes.

10. Do you know anyone famous?
Just bikers.

11. Describe your bed.
Bushido.

12. Spontaneous or plain?
Picking between them ahead of time strikes me as too plain...

13. Who should play you in a movie about your life?
Zach Galiafinakis or Alan Moore, depending on how it ends.

14. Do you know how to play poker?
No, but I will turn you inside-out in a Euchre game.

15. What do you carry with you at all times?
Leatherman, phone, Palm Pilot, Palm Pilot keyboard, Laptop. It's the IT guy Utility Belt!

16. How do you drive?
Under extreme duress or emergency.

17. What do you miss most about being little?
Not caring about what a raw deal a bag of Cheetos is.

18. What color is your bedroom?
Eggplant.

19. What was the last song you were listening to?
Flu by Split Lip Rayfield

21. Have you ever been in a school play?
I was the Cowardly Lion in grade school.

22. Have you ever been in love?
I am now.

23. Do you like yourself and believe in yourself?
I am awesome.

25. Do you think you're stupid?
I am smart.

26. Do you consider yourself to be a nice person?
I am nice.

[AM Radio]

Score TWO!!
I was wrong, may I have another?

[davkatreb]

You know who you are! Stop it or seven more of your kids will be born with two heads.


1. What's on your bedside table?
empty package of D' size batterie's?

2. What's the geekiest part of your music collection?
Yani?

3. What do you eat when you raid the fridge at night?
the top of the wedding cake

4. What is your secret guaranteed weeping film?
That one with Arnold Schwarrtzeneger, you know and Richard Dawson.

5. If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?
My wife's boobs.

6. Do you have a completely irrational fear?
That I will have multipile flats and only one C02 thing, oh wait..

7. What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moments?
I start tapping the brakes and dabbing my foot.

8. Do you ever have to shave?

Only on the part's I want to be more hairy


9. Do you have too many love interests?
Besides the beautiful Miss Kathy?

10. Do you know anyone famous?
I know a Canadian spoke's model

11. Describe your bed.
where I sleep

12. Spontaneous or plain?
50,000 battered women and I'm still eating mine plain? I had no idea there were even options.

13. Who should play you in a movie about your life?
Chuck Hester

14. Do you know how to play poker?
Tell me again, do 3 red cards beat a bunch or clubs?

15. What do you carry with you at all times?
a schraeder tube

16. How do you drive?
lights on, baby smiling in back seat, at a better pace..

17. What do you miss most about being little?
weighing less

18. What color is your bedroom?
snow bunny

19. What was the last song you were listening to?
room without a winder'

21. Have you ever been in a school play?
I was forced to watch a production of cats once

22. Have you ever been in love?
with a person?

23. Do you like yourself and believe in yourself?
for the most part,except when I queastion... "Should I just make it a fixie"

25. Do you think you're stupid?
did I waste my ty time responding to this?

26. Do you consider yourself to be a nice person?
yes, email chain letters are why the post office is going broke. I remember back when stamps were required for this kind of BS.
1-Lamp. Alarm clock. TV remote.
2-"26 Caprices" by Nicolo Paganini. The good performance from Itzhak Perlman.
3-Eat? That's what beer's for, numbnuts!
4-Armageddon. The part in the end where Bruce Willis says his goodbyes to his little girl, just before he triggers the nuke and saves all of humanity. I ain't anxious to die, but I wouldn't mind going like that.
5-I wouldn't. There are plenty out there who need it more.
6-Fear?
7-What's to be insecure about?
8-I shave, but I don't "have to". I do it as a matter of personal choice.
9-For me there is no other woman.
10-"Famous"? Hard to say; fame is so fleeting. Tell me who's famous this week. I might know them. I might not.
11-An antique. An heirloom of solid mahogany; part of a suite that's been in the family since it was bought new eighty years ago.
12-Both. And/or neither.
13-William H. Macy. We were friends back in 1970, so it would be cool having an actor that remembers the same things I do.
14-Poke 'er? No thanks, I'm a married man.
15-My courage and my honor. Neither has failed me yet.
16-East in the morning. West in the afternoon.
17-I was never little. Anyone who says different is a dirty liar. Nyah, nyah, nyah.
18-I think m.b.w, T.B.M.K. called it "mint".
19-Black Flag, "Six Pack".
20-Beuller? Beuller????
21-I have no recollection of that.
22-M.b.w, T.B.M.K. Have been for more than 25 years. Will be if I live a hundred more.
23-Hell yes. I would have a beer with me anytime. I would trust me with my life. (Though not necessarily both at the same time.)
24-Also UA. Probably out f*cking off somewhere, along with that Beuller kid.
25-Not for one second, although I've seen some pretty smart people do some pretty stupid things.
26-No, and if you breathe a single word to anyone that I am, I will find you.

[danheckler]

where's #20?

[althegud1srtakn]

1. i don't have a table there, but there's all kinds of bike parts on the floor

2. tough call, but i'll go with depeche mode

3. anything that's mine, meaning i usually go hungry

4. any girlie and/or gay movie, i get easily sucked into even the worst plots

5. is laser hair removal plastic surgeory?

6. spiders

7. riding, i bite my lip, which really sucks because it almost always means i'm about to fall. not riding, i turn red REALLY easily.

8. all the f!@#ing time! see #5

9. yes, and they're too short lived

10. nope

11. twin size matress i've had since 2nd grade (i'm now in college) lying on the floor

12. spontanious?

13. daniel radcliffe, or maybe brad pit

14. not very well

15. a knife

16. on a bike

17. recess, and not paying taxes

18. now that you mention it i'm not even sure, i'd guess white

19. material girl

20. you somehow skipped this number

21. no

22. yes

23. kinda, i guess

24. you also skipped this number!

25. no, but whoever made this is, they can't even count

26. for the most part

[phlatlander]

1. What's on your bedside table?
Nebulizer

2. What's the geekiest part of your music collection?
Tilly & the Wall

3. What do you eat when you raid the fridge at night?
I am too lazy to walk down there to discover that the kids ate everything anyway.

4. What is your secret guaranteed weeping film?
My Dog Skip.

5. If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?
Have pockets installed on my thighs so I could carry stuff around while nekkid.

6. Do you have a completely irrational fear?
Trying to write with a retractable pencil w/no lead in the barrel.

7. What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moments?
I piss myself

8. Do you ever have to shave?
I am a Mexican hairless, though I'm not Mexican.


9. Do you have too many love interests?
My wife would point in the direction of the bikes in my garage?

10. Do you know anyone famous?
I'll make you famous.

11. Describe your bed.
Big, low & Scandinavian... Like Norwegian womens.

12. Spontaneous or plan?
I plan several spontaneous moments throughout my day.

13. Who should play you in a movie about your life?
Barry Pepper

14. Do you know how to play poker?
I can't keep a straight face, but my wife is pretty good at faking it.

15. What do you carry with you at all times?
Balm

16. How do you drive?
10&2 keeps my insurance cheep.

17. What do you miss most about being little?
Luckily, I am re-living my youth through my children right now.

18. What color is your bedroom?
Eggplant stem

19. What was the last song you were listening to?
CB Song (Legendary Shack Shakers)

20. My lucky number + eleven.

21. Have you ever been in a school play?
Yes, you do strange things for p*$$y in high school.

22. Have you ever been in love?
Yes

23. Do you like yourself and believe in yourself?
Yeah, why not.

24. I hear Keifer Sutherland likes this show.

25. Do you think you're stupid?
I pretend to act & look stupid at times to blend in with my environment. Pretty stupid of me, actually.

26. Do you consider yourself to be a nice person?
Sure. Just last night I stopped on the interstate to help out a family who had just had a blow-out. I didn't want to get my work clothes dirty, so I just parked State-trooper-style behind them with my car's nose out to protect the guy from getting grilled by Freightliners. Hurry up & change the frickin tire, buddy, I have tomato plants that need to be watered.

[PutAwayWet]

Sure, I'll bite. If I don't do this I have to help my brother paint his place...

1. What's on your bedside table?
Books, alarm clock, lamp, pictures, candle.

2. What's the geekiest part of your music collection?
Wheatus

3. What do you eat when you raid the fridge at night?
Pickles.

4. What is your secret guaranteed weeping film?
Meet Joe Black

5. If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?
The scar tissue from massive impact injuries removed.

6. Do you have a completely irrational fear?
That someday I'll get too comfortable in life.

7. What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moments?
I talk too fast.

8. Do you ever have to shave?
Only when it starts to itch too bad to deal with in the summer. Other than that, it's a PITA.

9. Do you have too many love interests?
Nope.

10. Do you know anyone famous?
Do I count?

11. Describe your bed.
Japanese platform bed w/ natural latex mattress. Ahhh.... :)

12. Spontaneous or plan?
Depends on my mood.

13. Who should play you in a movie about your life?
I dunno. Are there any short, stocky, quiet italian/french actors?

14. Do you know how to play poker?
I can lose money with the best of them.

15. What do you carry with you at all times?
There's nothing I always have on me, other than myself.

16. How do you drive?
Courteously angry.

17. What do you miss most about being little?
Work sucks.

18. What color is your bedroom?
Saybrook Sage (Ben Moore Eco-Spec, of course)

19. What was the last song you were listening to?
Dummy Up - Screeching Weasel

20. My lucky number minus eleven.

21. Have you ever been in a school play?
Danny in "Grease"; the Wiz in "The Wizard of Oz" (I screwed up my lines and called the Lion 'My galvanized friend')

22. Have you ever been in love?
Yes

23. Do you like yourself and believe in yourself?
Without that, what have you got?

24. About half as many hours as I need in a day.

25. Do you think you're stupid?
Stupid is as stupid does.

26. Do you consider yourself to be a nice person?
Sometimes. Like when I'm actually helping my brother paint instead of responding to stuff like this.

[nogearshere]

1. What's on your bedside table?
if the bed is where i sleep then there was a coffee cup, ninja turtles and (sadly) dog shite on the floor beside my head...as i was wearing pants i KNOW it was the dog thankyousomuch.

2. What's the geekiest part of your music collection?


3. What do you eat when you raid the fridge at night?
when i lay me down, it is out till i get poked by tiny fingers 4hrs later. i have a blended salsa habit i cant shake though.

4. What is your secret guaranteed weeping film?
Eddie Murphy - Delirious

5. If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?
Removable face with multiple disguises.

6. Do you have a completely irrational fear?
No. Why do you ask? Should I?

7. What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moments?
Urination

8. Do you ever have to shave?
Hot wax makes me feel sexy.

9. Do you have too many love interests?
Shhhhh.

10. Do you know anyone famous?
Yes, but i'm not allowed to call them anymore...

11. Describe your bed.
Where my wife sleeps.

12. Spontaneous or plain?
i can be instantly boring...does that count?

13. Who should play you in a movie about your life?
Paris Hilton with a strap on.

14. Do you know how to play poker?
Yes, I have 3 kids to prove it.

15. What do you carry with you at all times?
ENTER CLICHE HERE.

16. How do you drive?
I took a test, they said i dun good.

17. What do you miss most about being little?
Nothing, now i take what i want from little people and they wish they were big...for the record i dont miss wearing diapers or crawling or well i do miss breasts.

18. What color is your bedroom?
Holds up organic boutique swatch that took 6 months and 20 trips to the store to select...name unpronounceable.

19. What was the last song you were listening to?
its an ipod, its on shuffle, it goes like dun dun dundundun...

21. Have you ever been in a school play?
No, unless you count random acts of idiocy during assemblies and dances.

22. Have you ever been in love?
Der?

23. Do you like yourself and believe in yourself?
Sure, why do you ask? Should I change?

24. Is the world flat?
Der!

25. Do you think you're stupid?
Brilliantly stupid, stupid like a fox.

26. Do you consider yourself to be a nice person?
Its all an act...like this one time i was in the school play, i fell in love but really i didnt like my stupid self enough to continue the relationship so i packed up my crap and left the bedroom listening to my geeky music and not one of my famous friends called me back. MYRON!

[tryandgetme]

we should vote on the best one. I vote nogears.

[nogearshere]

we should vote on the best one. I vote nogears.

thats one sad and pathetic honor...i'd like to thank the academy...

[tryandgetme]

hey, sad and pathetic is funny too...

[S. cerevisiae]

1. bedside table...GD alarm clock, and lamp for reading that never gets used

2. geekiest music...total Rush on vinyl (thought Peart was a genius until I found the Clash)

3. fridge raid...ice cream (it's quietest)

4. weeping film...a two-for here: Saving Private Ryan and Hook

5. plastic surgery...pro'lly remove that extra toe I see when I drink too much

6. irrational fear...are there actually irrational fears?

7. insecure moment flag...I turn beet red, and sweat, then I pee myself

8. have to shave...what parts? Only have to shave face if respirators are called for

9. too many loves...again, too many? Is this possible?

10. famous people...Jeff G. the Urban Cyclist

11. bed description...often shared with non-human species

12. spontaneous/plain...yes

13. cast as me...I hear Don Imus is looking for work

14. poker...lost a lot of money at wrestling tournies trying

15. carry w/ you...identification

16. drive?...as fast as I think I can get away with

17. miss most about being little...hearing my dad's WWII stories from the CBI theater of ops

18. bedroom color...godawful pink

19. last song...whatever was playing in the Live 8 DVD when I fell asleep

20. TBA

21. school play...yes in elementary school...wish it had sparked something as actors are really well compensated

22. ever been in love...sofa king many times it scares me

23. like/believe in yourself...guess so. Like what I do, believe that I should care for those in my charge.

24. What am I bid for this fabulous kayak...(see below)

25. stupid..?I have done and often do stupid things. S'pose that qualifies me for a badge...

26. nice..? yeppir, unless someone really needs their a$$ handed to them

[myron]

what happened to the Dlee post??

[tryandgetme]

has not been deleted by a moderator.

[dlee]

1. What's on your bedside table?
Empty Viagra boxes, lots

2. What's the geekiest part of your music collection?
This is hard…I do have an LP of the Fugs from 1963, not geeky but it’s all relative

3. What do you eat when you raid the fridge at night?
Olives from the deli, a passion

4. What is your secret guaranteed weeping film?
Smoke Signals, if you have kids and haven’t seen it, well

5. If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?
Nah, liposuction

6. Do you have a completely irrational fear?
Retirement with no health insurance

7. What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moments?
Lack of eye contact

8. Do you ever have to shave?
By choice, two or three times a week

9. Do you have too many love interests?
Can’t have too many, only lack of time

10. Do you know anyone famous?
I was a friend of Italo Scanga in grad school, John Fahey and Bill Barth crashed in my apartment when I was in undergraduate school in Memphis, Skip James and Furry Lewis was part of this crowd

11. Describe your bed.
DWR on a budget

12. Spontaneous or plan?
Divergent and/or convergent, it’s all good


13. Who should play you in a movie about your life?
Troy Donahue ala Rome Adventure

14. Do you know how to play poker?
Solitaire

15. What do you carry with you at all times?
My purse in the guise of a Timbuk 2 with all my stuff

16. How do you drive?
Like a 64 year old with his head up his ass

17. What do you miss most about being little?
Mom takin’ care of shit

18. What color is your bedroom?
Bauhaus

19. What was the last song you were listening to?
Van Morrison – and it stoned me

20. Yesterday at this time

21. Have you ever been in a school play?
As a bunny rabbit and a minuet dancer, quit after the third grade

22. Have you ever been in love?
Never been out of love…

23. Do you like yourself and believe in yourself?
Both

24. Nope, it was today, sorry

25. Do you think you're stupid?
Hey, you do the math

26. Do you consider yourself to be a nice person?
Yes, but not all agree