Warning! Monkey butt content!

[OTBSkinloss]

I've been riding home in the afternoon monsoon rains for the last 2 or so weeks. I got a BAD case of diaper rash. The left side of my sack is chaffed like nobody's bidnuss! My taint is sooooo chapped, that I'm gonna drive for the month of Aug. My inner thighs are like a 6 month old that hasn't been changed in a week. I wash my shorts after every ride. It aint a lack of hygene.
If it weren't for the sex with dead animals, that Carlo suggested, I may loose the will to live. I know, this is TMI, but does diaper rash ointment work? Asstroglide(sp) does dingus. Goldbond sux. Whadda yall suggest? My ass, taint, sack and inner thighs thank you in advance.
Sincearly,
Chapped in Aspen.

[2dumb4gears]

Yikes. Been there; that sucks. Let it heal and dry for a couple of days, taking extra care to air it out at home (kilt or loose fitting shorts commando style). Then, pick up some chamois butter. The stuff seems to stay on for a couple of days, even if you wash carefully, and seems to keep the chafe to a minimum.

Good luck.

[fxdwhl]

Wow, you got it bad. I've had luck with hydrocortisone cream but never had it as bad as you describe. Definitely keep the area dry and try to keep extra pressure off the area (biking doesn't help). I've actually had more trouble with saddle sores/ingrown hairs and sitting at my desk for hours on end at work more. Basically if I'm not on my ass at my computer I'm not working. I've had to get creative in ways to sit to keep pressure off sensitive areas. Even if it really doesn't bother me much while on the bike I'll feel them sitting at work.

[hophead]

How 'bout some of this:

[rockyrider]

You may actually have a fungal invasion, track down some Micatin cream (suitable for jock itch and athlete's foot)

[DjSmallFry]

Try using chamios cream. I used 'Ass Master' brand and it curbed my saddle sores... nice and soothing... worth a try to not drive.

[phlatlander]

Desitin. Not the best stand-alone chamois cream butt I have used it in emergencies when I ran out of Butt'r. It is best used post-rash, of course, & cleared things up much quicker than in the past when just using Neosporin or nothing. That Desitin shit is like caulk, though, real greasy.

[S. cerevisiae]

You may actually have a fungal invasion, track down some Micatin cream (suitable for jock itch and athlete's foot)

What he said. I'm no MD, but I'd wager $$$ on fungal infection. Need anti fungal treatment for your junk, and AF for your cycling kit(s). It won't wash out with ordinary laundry detergents, it needs killed.

[Pugsley]

Many thanks to OP (Over The Seat Skinloss) for not including photos.

Undoubtedly something like http://www.buttpaste.com/ will allow that nasty fungus to continue its work unimpeded.

White pizza, anyone?
Happy pedaling.