George Bush's Resume

[Max]

GEORGE W. BUSH
The White House
Washington, D.C
USA

RESUME

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
I ran for congress and lost. I produced a

Hollywood slasher B movie. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas; company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that gave me land using taxpayer's money.
Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago White Sox.

With my father's help (and his name) was elected Governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS:

I changed pollution laws for power and oil

companies and made Texas the most polluted state in the Union.

I replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog ridden city in America.

Cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

Set record for most executions by any Governor in American history.

I became president after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes, with the help of my fathers appointments to the Supreme Court.


ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT
I attacked and took over two countries.

I spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.

I shattered record for biggest annual deficit in history.

I set economic record for most private

bankruptcies filed in any 12 month period.

I set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.

I am the first President in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
I am the first President in US history to enter office with a criminal record.

I am the first year in office set the all-time
record for most days on vacation by any President in US history.


After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, I presided over the worst security failure in US history.
I set the record for more campaign fundraising trips, while in office, than any other President in US history.


In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their job.

I cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any President in US history.

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
I appointed more convicted criminals to
administration positions than any President in US history.

I set the record for the least amount of press conferences than any President since the advent of television.

I signed more laws and executive orders amending the

Constitution than any President in US history.

I presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.
I presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused to use the national reserves, as past Presidents have.

I cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.

I set the all-time record for most people
worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me

(15 million people), shattering the record for protest
against any person in the history of mankind

(see also:
http://www.hyperreal.org/~dana/marches).

I dissolved more international treaties than
any President in US history.

My Presidency is the most secretive and
unaccountable of any in US history.

Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history.
(The 'poorest' multimillionaire, Condoleeza Rice has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.)

I am the first President in US history to have all 50 states of the Union simultaneously go technically bankrupt.

I presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any country in the history of the world.

I am the first President in US history to order an unprovoked US first attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation; I did so against the will of the
United Nations and the world community, and without consultation with or consent from the Congress or the American people.

I created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States. I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any President in

US history.
I am the first President in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the human rights commission.
I am the first President in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the elections monitoring board.
I removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of Congressional oversight, than any Presidential administration in US history.
I rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.
I withdrew from the World Court of Law.
I refused to allow inspectors access to US
prisoners of war and, by default, no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
I am the first President in US history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US elections).
I am the all-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.
My biggest lifetime campaign contributor, who is also one of my best friends, presided over one of the largest
corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).
I spent more money on polls and focus groups than any President in US history.

I am the first President to run and hide when the US came under attack (and then lied, saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1).

I am the first US President to establish, in
effect, a secret shadow government.

I took the biggest world sympathy for the US after 911,

and, in less than a year, made the US the most resented

country in the world (possibly the biggest

diplomatic failure in US and world history).
I, with a policy of 'disengagement' created the most hostile Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.
I am the first US President in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my

Presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.
I am the first US president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the US than

their

> > > > immediate neighbor, North Korea.
> > > >
> > > > I changed US policy to allow convicted criminals

to
be

> > > > awarded government contracts.
> > > >
> > > > I set all-time record for number of

administration

> > > > appointees who violated US law by not selling

huge

> > > > investments in corporations bidding for

government

> > > > contracts.
> > > >
> > > > I failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin

Laden

> > > > 'dead or alive.'
> > > >
> > > > I failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried

to

> > > > murder the leaders of our country at the United

States

> > > > Capitol building. After 18 months, I have no

leads
and

> > > > zero suspects.
> > > >
> > > > In the 18 months following the 911 attacks, I

have

> > > > successfully prevented any public investigation

into

> the

> > > >
> > > > biggest security failure in the history of the

United

> > > > States.
> > > >
> > > > I removed more freedoms and civil liberties for
> > > > Americans than any other President in US

history.

> > > >
> > > > In a little over two years I created the most

divided

> > > > country in decades, possibly the most divided

the US

> > > > has ever been since the Civil War.
> > > >
> > > > I entered office with the best economy in US

history

> > > > and, in less than two years, turned every single
> > > > economic category heading straight down.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > RECORDS AND REFERENCES
> > > >
> > > > I have at least one conviction for drunk driving

in

> > > > Maine
> > > > (Texas driving record has been erased and is not
> > > > available).
> > > >
> > > > I was AWOL from National Guard and deserted the
> > > > military during a time of war.
> > > >
> > > > I refuse to take drug test or even answer any
> > > > questions about drug use.
> > > >
> > > > All records of my tenure as governor of Texas

have

> been

> > > > spirited away to my father's library, sealed in

> secrecy

> > > > and unavailable for public view.
> > > >
> > > > All records of any SEC investigations into my

insider

> > > > trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in

secrecy

> > > > and unavailable for public view.
> > > >
> > > > All minutes of meetings for any public

corporation I

> > > > served on the board are sealed in secrecy and
> > > > unavailable for public view.
> > > >
> > > > Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my

VP)

> > > > attended regarding public energy policy are

sealed
in

> > > > secrecy and unavailable for public review.
> > > >
> > > > For personal references, please speak to my

Daddy or

Uncle James Baker.
(They can be reached at their offices of the

Carlyle

Group for war-profiteering.)

GEORGE W. BUSH
The White House
Washington, D.C
USA

[Goride]

While it is an impressive list of accomplishments that the Idiot Boy King has amassed throughout the years, you forgot some key, recent developments.

Bush lied about the reason for invading said sovereign nation in a pre-emptive attack. Saddam and Osama cohorts? No evidence. Iraq was buying nuclear material from Niger? Forged documents. Iraq was buying aluminum tubes for uranium processing? Tubes were too thin to be used as such. Mobile bio-tech labs? Nah, just mobile scientific and water refinement facilities. Imminent threat with weapons of mass destruction? Can't find those either. Saddam gassed and murdered his own people? No question Saddam did it - but it was with US supplied weapons and the United States, by not stepping in way back when, in a way approaved of his actions. Bush recently said that he had to invade becasue Iraq wouldn't let UN weapons inspectors in, but in fact it was the United States who kicked them out back in April - the Iraqi government was being pretty forthcoming as far as Hans Blix was concerned.

As is said around my house; Bush gives Pussy a Bad Name.

-brad

[Mauriceman]

Youse guys are preachin to the choir. Let's spend our time making sure we get rid of the prick soon.

[jonassterling]

Originally posted by Mauriceman
Youse guys are preachin to the choir. Let's spend our time making sure we get rid of the prick soon.


And unfortunatly probably replace him with some other prick running on the Repulicrat ticket. I'm still looking for some one I can vote for with a clear conscience. Maybe I need to start my own party.

[The Rose]

in my opinion most if not all polititians are their to make themselves and their friends very rich and to keep the american sheep in the dark to ensure another election into office to continue the rape of the people. we will never be rid of the sleeze-ball politition until something big and revolutionary comes to pass. once america pulls its collective head out of the sand and realizes there has got to be a better way, maybe then we will see a change but until then pull the wool back over your eyes and watch the simpsons. didnt we revolt against england because we were tired of being taxed to death? well what the hell is going on now??? we are taxed to fund political pet programs. oour hard earned money line the pockets of the washington fat cats. a change must be made but we as americans will never do anything this country has gone soft. we are content to live under tyranny. just shut up and pay a third of your money to the tax man and like it. i watched one of bush's debated and one of his statements was that no american should pay more than one third of his pay to taxes. are you kidding me you rappist scumbag??? a third?? where the hell does al this money go? i have to stop now or ill smash this fu^&ing keyboard.

[retromike]

Question: what's the difference between the Republicans and Democrats? Answer: about six feet (that is about the size of the aisle.)

I might mention that the former bozo in the White House had deployed more of our military oversees (On nine separate occasions.)In his eight years in office than the present occupant or his father.

If you interested there is a little piece by Frontline called "The Super Fixers" about how certain folks in the former administration started by having national wilderness area with indigenous people living there declared open so the Japanese could build a golf corce there in Hawaii. We all know how right wing P.B.S. is so you think they might have got it correct.

One might think of the fact that there was no real growth in the economy until the house was taken over in 96 by those evil Republicans.

Since all Republicans are evil and all Democrats are saint's (like Senator Bird former card carrying member of the K.K.K.) would it not be easier just to line them all up and shoot them?

I was also wondering how many people in the private sector did the former President hire? How many jobs did he personally create? Answer:not one. Its like thanking the Reagan administration for creating Mountain Biking.(It really took off in the mid eighties.)

Before one uses such a broad brush lets make sure that the paint doesn't wind up on you.



:confused:

[The Rose]

who said the democrats are the good guys? i think all of them should burn in hell for an eternity. and i would find it hard to believe that most kkk aren't rebublicans. since democrates rely heavily on the minority vote. and repubs can count on rich boys, southern baptist and militia mountain men. hows that for broad strokes???? and one more thing, 96 was a long time ago . wheres the growth now?

[kennbenny667]

I come from the land of Chicago. Here political corruption is a way of life, and we are overwelming DEMOCRATIC. I don't ever recall having a teacher who said you had to vote one way or the other, and as the election nears, I plan to vote for an Independent, Green, Libertarian, or Socialist candidate. Some call it throwing a vote away. I don't see it like that. Throwing my vote away is voting for someone who isn't brave enought to enact the social, political, and some would argue, moral changes that America desperately needs. At this point in time, the only true way to throw one's vote away is voting for any of the Dems(none take a bold stand on anything) or Bush(three years and nothing to show for it). My chosen candidate will never win, but I will have voted for them because I truly BELIEVE in what they stand for, not because they represent the an opposing political party of the current administration. Take some of the "radical" parliaments of Northern Europe or even Canada. In those countries, in general, people are able to find jobs, buy homes or make rent, and have cheap effecient healthcare. America is the richest country on Earth, and millions of us have no insurance, trouble making rent, and can see no hope on the hypothetical horizon.

"Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos!" Yes, Homer, you did, but you still had the same outcome didn't you?

[The Rose]

well said brother.

[Max]

Just a side note to the Rose. The 13 colonies were not taxed to death. They, in fact were taxed less than any other English colony at the time. American History Textbooks tell you that to justify a lot of things that actually did happen. They weren't fighting tyranical foes, they actually still considered themselves englishmen. Wealthy land owners who didn't want to pay their taxes. The "forefathers". Just a side note.
Also, I think you are in desperate need of a bran muffin, brother.

"i think all of them should burn in hell for an eternity."

Join any malitias lately? I posted this resume because, I, like a lot of people, never voted for Bush, never approved of him, or his foriegn plicy for that matter. But the whole "damnation, they all need to burn, and die, and eat poop, and clean my room" thing is a little dramatic. Not being critical of you as a person, just the fir and brimstone lingo. Peace.

[The Rose]

the fire and brim stone comes from the realization that my money is being spent to further the grandure of the rich. our tax money does little to improve our quality of life. what in gods name do they do with all that money. if we were to run our households with the same fiscal responsibility they run the country with what do you think would happen? th egov. would take our homes , our land and lets not leave out our pride. the colonists were taxed and recieved nothing from england. they where on their own primarily. they had the english overlords that kept the peace. and what do we recieve today for all the money that flies from our pockets? empty promises and half truths. i hate being lied to, bold faced or indirectly. most polititians have no idea what real amercians go through on a day to day basis. if they did do you think our income tax would be so much? do you think the national minimum wage would be under 6 dollars an hour? truth be told they do deserve to burn. i'm sure there is a level of hell reserved just for the politiian and their ilk. liers cheats and scoundrels yes my friend and we vote them in. and thats another thing, bush didnt even win the election. he was just shoved down our throats. i guess the electoral college knows whats best for us. so lets just sit idley by and be the good little sheeple the fat cats want. keep us drunk, hooked on caffiene and nicotine and run us straight into the ground. dont get me wrong i love this country. i dont love the government. i was also a sgt in the infantry, so dont think me a unamerican rabble rouser. i believe in the constitution . most of the other amendments and changes have been made by polititians trying to justify their existance. tryin for another run, another chance to bilk the public for more money. and dude if you knew how many times a day i go to the toilet a bran muffin would be the last thing youd prescribe.:D

[retromike]

Jefferson referred to "the tyranny of the majority ". The reason he did was that he was in Paris during the French revolution. If you remember that little exercise in democracy there was a little problem with who would be next in line for a little trim off the top. That is part of the reason it was decided to have a representative democracy. This way a group of leaders might not be swayed buy the emotion of the moment.

The reason for the Electoral Collage was that voters in a small state would have as much sway as those in a big state. If not than don't even bother to show up if you don't live in New York or California.

There was a reason they set things up so that it would take so much to get anything done. That was those middle-aged white guys two hundred and thirty years ago had a pretty good take on how people think.

If you look at the number of states that the current President won it was a majority. Buy the way, more people voted for the current President than ever voted for Bill Clinton.

Last but not least. I didn't even vote for George W. I voted for my buddy R. Nader. If I had any money I would have donated to the Green Party. Unfortunately there wasn't as many Greens as there was Ross P. fan's so the vote was much closer.

I think it was one of those old white dead guy's said "Democracy is the worst form of government except for all the others"

;)





"ride to arrive alive"

[ctg]

Side note to the Rose. Capitals and paragraphs make posts much easier to read. Not trying to bag, just makes it easier on the eyes.

Chris

[jonassterling]

Originally posted by retromike

I think it was one of those old white dead guy's said "Democracy is the worst form of government except for all the others"




I believe this quote is more recent, and by some chap from the UK. Maybe Winston Churchill.

[The Rose]

ctg, i never did get along with my english teacher.

[retromike]

In reference to the democracy Quote by jonassterling was right but so was I.Yes it was Winston Churchill but it also was technically a old dead white guy.

The next question is what can we do about it? It has been stated that a revolutionary in the United States is like a piano player in a house of ill repute. You have something to do but you don't really understand what's going on.

If you vote for a Green like I did than the Republicans win. If you vote for Ross P. than the Democrats win. I personally would opt for another selection NONE OF THE ABOVE. :confused:

Ride to arrive alive

[The Rose]

if more people would open their eyes to whats going on and vote for the best candidate, not the one most likely to win we would be alot beter off. or maybe if we had some real choices when we did vote. like a candidate with actual veiws, ones that can think for themselves and not just mouthpieces for the parties. not voting isn't the answer. its everyone voting for the best candidate.

[jonassterling]

Originally posted by The Rose
if more people would open their eyes to whats going on and vote for the best candidate, not the one most likely to win we would be alot beter off. or maybe if we had some real choices when we did vote. like a candidate with actual veiws, ones that can think for themselves and not just mouthpieces for the parties. not voting isn't the answer. its everyone voting for the best candidate.

The real problem is most people that vote think they are voting for the right candidate, and that candidate is usually one from the two major political parties, whom, as much I would not like to admit it, represent the majority of the American people; comfortable and spoon fed what they want to hear.





uh sorry for the runon sentence.

[The Rose]

what really gets me is that all these candidates say the same crap year after year and nothing ever changes. taxes still go up, school funding usually goes down which inturn sprus another property tax hike. no matter what party demo or repub. the only real difference is which special interest group gets rich.